i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
they need to just BURY HIM!
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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