Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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