I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
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My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
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I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize