I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
