Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
