My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
