she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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