When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
