If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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