Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
