just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
