Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
