Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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