Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
