Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
