I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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