If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
