I'm really into asian looking animals
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
