never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
