Even the bartender felt bad for me
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
