Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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