"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
