Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
