eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
