Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
