so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
