she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
