We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
