i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
