about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
