His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
