Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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