I think my vagina is haunted
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
