I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize