WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
