My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
