so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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