did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
