Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
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You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
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I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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