Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
no you cant smoke seaweed
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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