giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
