I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
We need to rekindle our bromance
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
