Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
