We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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