ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
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I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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