His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize