take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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