i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
