Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
