He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
