His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
