We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
