I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
