; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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