I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
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whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
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Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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