Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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