Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize