Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
My penis needs a shock collar
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
