So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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